Clarity

Chapters

It’s time for me to transition, again. My plan, when I came to Catalonia in Dec. 2019, was to live in a small town for eight months while training, racing, and looking for a house to purchase and where I’d put down roots. “The best-laid plans…” I depart, characteristically, with mixed emotions. There’s excitement for a new chapter based on the aforementioned theme, this time in my Nordic homeland where the scent of forest peat is strong and the bird song is familiar. There’s a sadness to leave what started to feel like home in both familiarity and in developing

Now

The past wanes in fading memories. The future eludes with uncertainty. The present is all that truly exists. Thus, the smart investment is in Now. Recollections can be fun and heartwarming. But they can also lead me to negative rumination. Deliberation is helpful when making plans. Yet, here too, it easily leans towards anxiety. Only in the current moment am I certain to find reality and peace… if I’m open to being it. It’s this stillness that is the place of greatest action… if I’m aware enough to allow it. ❝ There is neither past nor future. There is only

Accountability of Process

In a recent post-workout comment to my coach, I wrote that I got through it thanks to accountability—to myself, to the process, and to him. I could say that something similar is true for most days right now. I’ve been in Spanish lockdown confinement for over seven weeks. Because I live alone, this means that my only interactions have been once or twice a week when visiting the small, weekly market to purchase fresh produce or a health food store for other items. And since I don’t speak Catalan or Spanish there’s been no dialogue. For the first five weeks,

Conscious Connection

Pre-dawn and daybreak are special times of day for me. There’s a feeling of love, connection and quiet that allows me to more fully resonate with the subtle energies and hear the singing birds. Over the past couple of weeks, out of solidarity and concern, my neighbour and I have taken to waiving and greeting each other, “Bon dia.” During these magical moments, I actively soak in life’s vitality, knowing that it will support me during the coming twenty-four hours. This is especially important during my extended isolation in lockdown. I often think and dream about being in a different

Real—Unreal

This morning I climbed onto a ledge and sat in the first rays of sunshine to drink tea and read. The chapter, entitled ‘Creation theories and the reality of the world’, contains Sri Ramana’s answers to questions regarding our enigma with the waking and dream worlds, and our difficulty in coming to terms with which world, if either, is real and which is unreal. It’s a subject upon which I’ve never felt I could get any grasp, and not for lack of trying. But this morning’s musings were set on the backdrop of comments made virtually between friends these past

The Questions

Every day starts the same for me—lockdown or not.Meditation, reading, then asanas & stretches with a bit of chanting. Not much changes when looking solely at the routine. Likewise, while confined to my own residence, not much changes in my immediate surroundings either: inside trainer ride when it’s raining, outside trainer ride when it’s not. But just as the outer world moves along with constant change, so too does the inner world. The tendencies of the mind are always in flux: how my body feels, my mood, my energy level, stress and fatigue levels, and desires or lack thereof. I

Mouna & Upadeśa

❝ Silence [mouna] is the true teaching [upadeśa].It is the perfect upadeśa.❞—Sri Ramana Maharshi, ‘Be As You Are’ Mother Nature is forcing Homo sapiens into retreats.Perhaps she is inviting us to take a break from our outwardly focused attention. Let us stop being so ‘busy’. Dive within. See what is already there.Let us each learn more about ourselves, our inner workings. There will be resistance.That is how the asanas [mental tendencies] work.But, with practice, those tendencies—that which separates us from our inner peace—will be rooted out. Just as standing on one leg becomes more difficult when the eyes are closed.In

Divine Beloved

🕊 Divine Beloved 🕊 I cannot see you,yet you are everything. I do not hear you,but your quietness echos. I long for you,though we are joined. I wander away, distracted,and run back, distraught. I surrender to not knowing,walking slowly, looking closer. Then,Grace. Disconnection kindled confusion,out of confusion evolved lucidity. Separation provided contrast,via contrast emerged clarity. Seeking was necessary,through it bloomed appreciation. We are always One.Living fully. Namaste,✌️ ∙ 🌱 ∙ 🙏 Surya Meditation on Arunachala ❝The point of playing cards with me wasn’t to beat me (because I was only nine years old). It was a way of telling me

Types Of Quiet

I entered the hall with our group, filming to capture the moment. Then, I turned towards the statue of Sri Ramana Maharshi and my world flipped upside-down: the power and presence of Maharshi reached in and took hold. I directly experienced Bhagavan and crumbled to my knees crying. Quiet #1: SpiritYears ago, I’d read a few books containing Ramana’s teachings, but I never imagined visiting Sri Ramanashram. It seemed to me that it was a place reserved solely for highly committed devotees. Yet, there I was, unmistakably overwhelmed in my heart and not understanding why. Over the following two weeks,

All Is One

In this Santhi Yoga retreat, our teacher Govind is guiding me and affirming a lifetime of experiences and intuitions. He adds clarity and understanding that allow me to see more clearly and more deeply, providing a framework for both the body and (subtle) mind aspects. He is teaching me how to ground to Mother Earth and with all Creation. I see now that when this body breathes the whole of existence breathes. (It’s not just the worldly physics of all beings sharing the oxygen, carbon dioxide and nitrogen on this planet through the breath.) Arunachala Mountain is tuning this “clay

Moved To Tears

Never did I imagine that I’d visit Arunachala Mountain and the Sri Ramanashram in India. Nor did I expect the intensity of the experience once it happened. Tears came quickly in Ramana Maharshi’s presence. I crumbled to my knees. And now, each time his image comes to mind I’m overwhelmed again. I do not entirely understand what this is about. Perhaps it will be fully revealed. Perhaps not. It does not matter. One morning, during satsang, as I looked at Ramana’s face my attention moved to his eyes. For the first time I saw love—soft, relaxed, and calm. Previously, I only

Leaning In

The most efficient running occurs when the person stands tall and leans forward, as a whole, from the ankles and up through the pelvis and torso. Gravity does the work of pulling us along while we move within it. What’s required from the athlete is a stable, yet relaxed, frame that can support the skeleton and the joints in movement with the least amount of resistance possible. In order for this to occur, muscle strength must be developed and kinaesthetic awareness in space cultivated. This is where the bulk of the work happens. Through patience, we spend the time necessary

The Practice

For years, I was not ready to don love’s wings. Too much dense chaff there was to burn away. I acquiesced that a solo journey in this life it might be. Yet advocating intimacy, the Universe was unrelenting. In time, clarity and honesty were forged trustworthy. So I laid bare myself to One. And now, I cherish an opportunity to build a relationship long sought. But how do we soar while separated corporeally? A reminder echoes from the inner sanctum, “Be patient, my son.” A reminder born out of commitment to show up for life. A reminder to be here

Explore

❝There is definitely something there to be deeply explored.❞~Jen This quote was said to me in the space of relationship. Yet as I marinated in the energy behind the affirmation, it became evident how true it also is for meditation, personal investigation, and in the movement and stillness of life. I’m immensely curious about the subtle, and not-so-subtle, flows in life. Love, pain, joy, trepidation, acceptance, vulnerability, etc. all have nuances that are worthy of investigation. Say yes. // Lean in.For me, this leads to truer and deeper living, learning, and loving. 🙏❤️

Free, or One

I long to be set free. To or from, place or thing? This fragmented state, Some odd mentation. The mind paints escape, In time and space. But no locus exists, Only I am. I want to know again, This One we are. ~ Caressed by expanse. No limits delude. Self touches universe. Her breath envelopes. We are the same and are either one. OM ∙ ∙