Gratitude

Mystery

“The mystery of life. ” ~Hella (my best friend) I feel like a dog who twists & turns his head trying to understand a sound, or what someone is saying, as I try and fathom death and that dad isn’t on this earth now. Although he wasn’t the father I wanted him to be, or that I envisioned having, he was still my dad, and I mourn the loss of the dad energy I’ve held in my heart. I’m also struck by the futility of fighting against death. It’s a losing battle. It seems far smarter to utilise that energy for

Shinrin-yoku

Sanity is a walk in the forest: · Terpenes· Quietness· Nature’s timing Autumn scent and feel is in the air.Birds are much quieter than even a month ago.The species have changed a bit too. Green remains the predominant colour,which isn’t a surprise given the amount of rain recently.But once cold nights settle in the leaves will quickly reflect a different spectrum. Nightfall arrives sooner in the dayand with deep darkness; perfect for sleeping.And the sound of a fire in the wood stove rejoins my morning meditation. Without a doubt, spring is my favourite season.Yet, there is immense beauty as summer

Endurance Insights

One of the overarching reflections I have of racing Ultraman Canada 2019 can be summarised as, “Where did that performance output come from?!” In one regard, I wouldn’t have extrapolated my prior data and experience to predict the achieved results. On the other hand, there are clues to be found in the methodology and mindset. I entered the event believing in the possibility of achieving excellence. This is fundamental because without a positive mental attitude a low ceiling is already cemented into place. Removing perceived boundaries provides room for potential to express itself in extraordinary ways. Keep in mind, however,

Alignment

“Beyond the very extreme of fatigue and distress, we may find amounts of ease and power we never dreamed ourselves to own; sources of strength never taxed at all because we never push through the obstruction.” ~William James In October 2012 I suffered a pylon fracture of my right ankle, an injury that two surgeons said was the end of impact sports for me. Fortunately, in the dark and painful moments in the ER, my best friend was there to help turn on the light switch. A mantra began to sprout, Always Believe. Before surgery, I spoke with the surgeon

Twist of Lime

It was a miserable, miserable day at Ironman Ireland, Cork. Nearing the finish line, I was tremendously grateful that it was over. Yet, a few days later I began to taste a sweet twist of lime that I had missed during the 11+ hours of heavy rain and wind. The pelting downpour, cold temperatures and poor logistics management by the race organisation were challenging, to say the least. However, the continual outpour of well-wishing and support from the spectators was heart-warming; for them, I kept digging deeper. Deluge The Youghal and County Cork residents are perhaps the most wonderful people I’ve

An Invitation

Recently, I read a quote that sparked something inside. With a short pause, it was apparent that there were numerous subsequent responses. It would have been easy to disregard these and focus solely on the strong, energising, and confident energy that initially arose but, I’ve trained myself to look closer because there’s usually more going on. And honestly, it’s the subtle layers that are often the most interesting. “Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire.” ~Jenifer Lee To be transparent, I felt uneasy with the question about what sets my soul on fire. Why? It’s

Unravelling

Nature is always there for me, exactly how I am. Upon rising yesterday I was pulled away from the meditation cushion and encouraged instead get outside directly. After stuffing a thermos of tea in my pack of swim gear I set off for an early walk around the lake, returning to the dock where I’d swim and meditate. It was clear that the Universe was inviting me into a healing space with fresh air, bird songs, rising sun, and movement that was different from my regular stretching and rolling. For over a month I’ve been struggling with incapacities in my

Unsettled

In my last post I shared a feeling of ‘settled’. I knew that it would pass. All conditioned things are impermanent–transient, evanescent, inconstant. My autumn training camp has come to an end. There’s been tremendous growth in fitness, with nutrition, emotionally, and relationally. Nevertheless, upon reflection to the start of my trip, there are decisions for which I wish I could have mulligans. Play the course as it is, and the ball as it lies. Mammaw Undoubtedly, in the quote above, my grandmother was only referring to golf, but it does reflect the practical side of her nature. I have blinders that

A Simple Life

I’m learning that the simpler my life is the happier I am. Yet, there is renitent energy. Even while acknowledging my happiness-simplicity experience, there’s something inside me that is resistant to living increasingly simply. What is that element? I can hear the addictive patterns scream out in fear of answering the question. Fear/Addiction: Don’t look closer, don’t inquire. And, God forbid, don’t even think about asking the question about what it means to live a simple life? Me: Why not? Fear/Addiction: Because you might have to give up something? Me: Um, well, isn’t that kind of the point? (In order

Orange Blossoms

There’s a saying, “A grateful heart is magnet for miracles.” I arrived in Málaga, then Marbella, somewhat frustrated with various aspects of the day’s travel. During the next 12 hours an ongoing question rolled in my mind, why am I here? Plans for attending this Ironman 70.3 competition were made long ago: the goal, qualify for the 70.3 World Championships in Port Elizabeth, South Africa. But that was prior to a recent decision, and before visiting my new favourite training and, perhaps, living location. The Decision As I felt into volunteering for the ÖtillÖ World Championship, it became stunningly clear that my

What It’s All About

Falling asleep last night was a slow process. Pain was present throughout the entire body, inside and out: sunburn, blisters, muscle aches, joint stiffness, abrasions, internal systems in turmoil, you name it. Today, looking over my race stats and feeling the subtle sensations, I notice that I don’t want anything to do with the sun right now, which is very unusual for me. A friend of mine asked if the heat at Ironman Los Cabos was similar to Ironman Kona: no, Kona can be hotter but the sun in Los Cabos feels more intense. My heart rate was too high

Grateful

Grateful Grateful for this beautiful day. Grateful for outstanding health. Grateful for breath. Grateful for clean water. Grateful for silence and stillness. Grateful for being a conduit through which Life experiences itself. Grateful for nature. Grateful for colours (especially green). Grateful for being a warrior. Grateful for friends and sangha. Grateful for learning. Grateful for unlearning. namaste, 🙏 ✌️➕🌱

Courage & Confidence

I often ask myself why I continue to train for and compete in Ironman events–both half- & full distance. To be honest, it’s a scary question because what if the answer is “I don’t want to”. Then what? The question then becomes whether I’m doing this in order to create an identity to hold on to. But down that rabbit hole is not what this particular post is about. It’s very clear to me that I really enjoy training, being fit, and improving my health–mind, body, and spirit. However, much of my athletic life has been testosterone driven. The underlying

Vulnerability

Gratitude is a recurring theme in everything I do and there’s a reason for that. It helps me stay sane & healthy, and to train effectively. It helps me feel energised. It helps me feel connected to the present and to the Universe. On the other end of the spectrum is frustration. I’ve been working with an acupuncturist to unpack layers, remove blockages, and increase energy flow (Qi). (If you’re on Hawai’i and are interested in a treatment, contact me for more information.) It’s become very clear to me that when I feel frustrated with parts of my body or

Gratitude

I’ve been quite silent lately. It’s been clear that I’ve needed to write about gratitude, but I haven’t felt super grateful. Well, I have in some areas of my life, and not in others. Gratitude is defined as “the state of feeling appreciative for a kindness which has been granted or given, and (very often) of wanting to give something in return.” It’s the latter half of that description which I wouldn’t have verbalised but do, however, recognise as a key element. When the energy of gratitude is flowing in me I naturally smile, relax, and feel whole, while also