Meditation

Peace

❝ Peace is not in the hall. It is in the repose of the Self. It can be gained anywhere.❞~Sri Ramana Maharshi This quote is, for me, more than a nice thought. It’s a bit of guiding principle. The past many weeks have been dreary and dark—literally and figuratively. My mental, emotional, and physical dispositions have been rather low. The reasons are multi-faceted. Thankfully, I’ve spent years building a collection of tools to support myself in situations like this. It includes reaching out to others; I can’t make it on my own anymore, nor do I wish to try any

Loaf-ness

The individual ‘I’ exists only as thought,a conceptual separation from One. Personality exists as colour in a rainbow,always an expression of the entirety. Sap, sweet on the tongue,carries its tree-ness. Bread, newly baked,suffuses its loaf-ness in air. ❝ The body’s movements are confounded with ‘I’ and misery is the result. Whether the body works or not, ‘I’ remains free and happy. The ajnani’s* ‘I’ is the body only. That is the whole error. The jnani’s** ‘I’ includes the body and everything else. Clearly some intermediate entity arises and gives rise to the confusion.❞~Sri Ramana Maharshi, Talks with Sri Ramana Maharshi

Being Here Now

For decades my best friend has patiently challenged me to look deeper into in the following questions, and to glean lessons found therein: Is this really how you want to interact with the world and those around you? Is this who you want to be? Is this actually what’s important to you? To give some context, throughout my childhood and most of my adult life, I was a very angry person who pushed people away by being rather prickly. My method of surviving the internal chaos was to construct barriers, keeping people away thereby decreasing the influx of stimuli. I

The Experience

The seer is not separate from that which is seen.That which is seen is both the seer and the seeing. ❝ Because you imagine that you are the seer separate from the experience, this difference arises.Experience shows that your being is the same all through.❞~Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi, “Talks with Sri Ramana Maharshi” Namaste,✌️ ∙ 🌱 ∙ 🙏

Stress — Bliss

When I pass from this earthly life, what will happen to the stress I have carried with me? Presumably, it disappears because there is no ‘me’ remaining to experience ‘my’ stress. If indeed that’s the case, must I endure disquietude and anxiety even now? As I sit quietly, tracing the various threads that give rise to stressful thoughts, I notice that they are actually rather amorphous in nature. I don’t deny or belittle their existence, but I question the solidity and the importance to which my mind anoints them. Looking closer, I observe that these thoughts, and the angst to

Right As Rain

Life is incredibly full. I just have to slow down enough to experience it. When I sit quietly listening to the rain, watching leaves dance in the droplets and noticing the changes in the ebbs and flows of intensity, all the purpose in the world is present and accounted for. Within this space, I hear an invitation to give up my constant pursuit of whatever it is I think I’m looking for and instead just notice what’s already and always present, even as I engage in ‘daily life’. We, humans, are a curious animal. We seek reason for which something

Accountability of Process

In a recent post-workout comment to my coach, I wrote that I got through it thanks to accountability—to myself, to the process, and to him. I could say that something similar is true for most days right now. I’ve been in Spanish lockdown confinement for over seven weeks. Because I live alone, this means that my only interactions have been once or twice a week when visiting the small, weekly market to purchase fresh produce or a health food store for other items. And since I don’t speak Catalan or Spanish there’s been no dialogue. For the first five weeks,

The Questions

Every day starts the same for me—lockdown or not.Meditation, reading, then asanas & stretches with a bit of chanting. Not much changes when looking solely at the routine. Likewise, while confined to my own residence, not much changes in my immediate surroundings either: inside trainer ride when it’s raining, outside trainer ride when it’s not. But just as the outer world moves along with constant change, so too does the inner world. The tendencies of the mind are always in flux: how my body feels, my mood, my energy level, stress and fatigue levels, and desires or lack thereof. I

Mouna & Upadeśa

❝ Silence [mouna] is the true teaching [upadeśa].It is the perfect upadeśa.❞—Sri Ramana Maharshi, ‘Be As You Are’ Mother Nature is forcing Homo sapiens into retreats.Perhaps she is inviting us to take a break from our outwardly focused attention. Let us stop being so ‘busy’. Dive within. See what is already there.Let us each learn more about ourselves, our inner workings. There will be resistance.That is how the asanas [mental tendencies] work.But, with practice, those tendencies—that which separates us from our inner peace—will be rooted out. Just as standing on one leg becomes more difficult when the eyes are closed.In

Toolbox

There’s no doubt about it, lockdown quarantine is getting to me. I’m a loner. I’m single. I live alone. I’ve been a nomad for a decade. At first, I begrudgingly accepted that my life developed this way. Over the last several years, however, I’ve embraced this lifestyle because it provides tremendous opportunities to travel, experience different cultures, and see things that most people only dream about or only see via visual media. This way of life also allows for immersing myself in quietness, something I find immensely soothing. I thrive when living in a cabin in the woods where nature

Divine Beloved

🕊 Divine Beloved 🕊 I cannot see you,yet you are everything. I do not hear you,but your quietness echos. I long for you,though we are joined. I wander away, distracted,and run back, distraught. I surrender to not knowing,walking slowly, looking closer. Then,Grace. Disconnection kindled confusion,out of confusion evolved lucidity. Separation provided contrast,via contrast emerged clarity. Seeking was necessary,through it bloomed appreciation. We are always One.Living fully. Namaste,✌️ ∙ 🌱 ∙ 🙏 Surya Meditation on Arunachala ❝The point of playing cards with me wasn’t to beat me (because I was only nine years old). It was a way of telling me

Types Of Quiet

I entered the hall with our group, filming to capture the moment. Then, I turned towards the statue of Sri Ramana Maharshi and my world flipped upside-down: the power and presence of Maharshi reached in and took hold. I directly experienced Bhagavan and crumbled to my knees crying. Quiet #1: SpiritYears ago, I’d read a few books containing Ramana’s teachings, but I never imagined visiting Sri Ramanashram. It seemed to me that it was a place reserved solely for highly committed devotees. Yet, there I was, unmistakably overwhelmed in my heart and not understanding why. Over the following two weeks,

Arunachala

I understand now why people return to this mountain. Here’s my experience…. The prose below were written as I sat at the foot of Arunachala Mountain outside the Samadhi Hall at Sri Ramanashram. I had taken up the habit of listening to early morning chanting at the ashram, walking to a lookout point on Arunachala for sunrise Surya Yoga and meditation, then returning to the ashram to continue looking within. On my last morning before departure as I sat in meditation, the mountain pulled my body into complete stillness, just as it had done the first time I meditated on

All Is One

In this Santhi Yoga retreat, our teacher Govind is guiding me and affirming a lifetime of experiences and intuitions. He adds clarity and understanding that allow me to see more clearly and more deeply, providing a framework for both the body and (subtle) mind aspects. He is teaching me how to ground to Mother Earth and with all Creation. I see now that when this body breathes the whole of existence breathes. (It’s not just the worldly physics of all beings sharing the oxygen, carbon dioxide and nitrogen on this planet through the breath.) Arunachala Mountain is tuning this “clay

Decade & A Year

I don’t usually reflect on my training and racing through total duration and distance. Instead, I pay more attention to the patterns within the days, weeks, and months. But when I was asked, it seemed interesting to have a look. It’s been a tumultuous year that included a chronic health issue with roots reaching back to my infancy: it’s played an increasing role throughout my life, culminating to a peak this spring. Since then a lot has been learned and major strides have been made towards what is now the best health of my life. This decade has been a