Recovery

Recovery

Holo mālie

❝ The whole process of nature is an integrated process of immense complexity, and it’s really impossible to tell whether anything that happens in it is good or bad — because you never know what will be the consequence of the misfortune; or, you never know what will be the consequences of good fortune.❞ ~Alan Watts The past few weeks have not gone according to plan, at least not the one I had envisioned. Thousands of ‘what ifs’ have bombarded my mind, and none of them plays out exactly ‘right’; there’s always a possible twist or turn leading in different

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Longing

❝ If you look at all our wisdom traditions and our literary and artistic heritages, across the world, across the centuries, they have been teaching all this time that the bittersweet side of existence is a way to creativity, it’s a way to connection, it’s a way to transcendence.❞~Susan Cain Several core themes in Rich Roll’s conversation with Susan Cain (RRP #699) landed as bull’s-eyes for me, stirring something that’s both beautiful and painful. The bittersweet essence of quiet aching gripped me early in this life. As a child, introverted sensitivity was evident as I shun assemblage and found solace

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Centre of The Circle

It was only by stumbling upon Laozi’s words (at bottom) that I began to find a way to express experiences from this past week and what is present now. Moving into the weekend there was uncertainty, self-doubt and fear. I exited with motivation, self-confidence and gratitude. A shift in viewpoint resulted in a transformation of attitude, but, as pointed to in chapter 29 of the Tao Te Ching, the place I find myself now is where always I’ve been. Both are true from their own perspective. ㅤ In a recent post, I shared that I’ve been struggling with frustration and

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How

❝ How you do anything is how you do everything.❞ I first heard this quote in a Rich Roll podcast with Buddhist monk Wu De (#RRP 151). The underlying teaching is that if one is sloppy or living without integrity in one area of life it bleeds over into how one is in the rest of life. I’ll provide the context below and then muse on it. ❝ You can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat their shoes. Whatever you think defines you, the fact of the matter is that at the end of your

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Open Questions

The quote at the bottom of this post resonates directly with one of the most important aspects of living a human life: awareness of the space in-between. In my late teens and early twenties, I showed clear evidence of an innate curiosity—an interest, or pull, to investigate the subtler aspects of existence unfazed by time. Unfortunately, the outward manifestation of pliant thoughtfulness was unmistakably absent. It wasn’t until after divorce, depression and recovery that the notion of “open questioning” became evident: (a concept my ex, now my best friend, tried for years to engage with me). As if a veil

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Sanctuary

Nothing about the spot in front of this fireplace ever gets old. It’s certainly a safe place for me, but what else? While talking with my coach about movement patterns I shared that “I get wound up easily.” To counter this, I need to be as conscious as possible to move in exactly the opposite way, chill. I’ve spent my life investigating what this means. At first I thought it was about how I ‘acted’. It became painfully evident that there was more to it—something much deeper inviting, calling and guiding. It was a bit like seeing an object out

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Health

Several years ago I battled with depression. It was hell. Thanks only to a dear friend who actually heard me, and realised the severity of my state, did things turn around. I’m happy and healthy now. But just as in addiction recovery, I have to make a conscious choice every day to shun the melancholic vortex and choose healthier paths. This takes energy. Physical exercise takes energy as well. As an endurance athlete, I spend many hours each week in training: yoga, swimming, biking, running, strength workouts and more. I do it because I love moving my body, being fit

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Morning Light

Sediment

I wish I could figure out my cycles of anxiety so that I could better mitigate and manage them. I have origin theories but nothing concrete. Yesterday morning, the quietness inside was conspicuous. As the day progressed, however, I could feel anxiety building. I suspect that the underlying catalyst was disappointment in a task for which I had high hopes compounded by physical exhaustion that drains my mental and emotional reserves. (Note: The ‘task’ in this case was not the roof about which I’ve recently posted (on IG) and am incredibly proud.) When the waters calm then sediment falls out of

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Silence & Intention

I’d like to share a fable and why it speaks to me. ❝ A realised man, a sadhu, was walking in the forest. Because it was sunny, he wanted to find somewhere to have a rest. He sat down under a tree, leaned back against the trunk and had a short nap. When he woke up, he was ready to continue his travels. As he was picking up his stick and his begging bowl, he saw many people sitting near him. Much to his surprise, they all stood up and thanked him for his satsang. He told them, ‘But I

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Even if…

Even if you’re only doing what’s fun, it’s still 𝙙𝙤-𝙞𝙣𝙜.Enjoying one’s work is not permission to continually extract.Fallow & replenishment are necessary. Nature has day and night, cold and warm, wet and dry, and four seasons for a reason. Humans have a multitude of circadian rhythms. We can work with them or, to our peril, fight them. In a podcast episode entitled Burnout and Renewal, Charles Eisenstein opened up and bared himself. He started by doing what he always does, investigate the substratum of life. In this case, he became the subject of enquiry. Devorah Brous beautifully went down the

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Rejuvenation

91 days. As of this writing, I’ve survived fifty-three days in solitary lockdown and thirty-eight days in phased de-escalation. At first, I welcomed the opportunity for deep internal work that sequestration provided. I had just returned from Arunachala in Tiruvannamalai, Tamil Nadu, India; a trip that included opening experiences I’d sought for decades. However, as time without face to face communication and zero human physical contact increased, life energy drained from my batteries, and my ability to cope waned. When we citizens were once again allowed to go outside, albeit only in very short and pre-determined time slots, we felt

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Alive Again

After nearly two months stuck in my flat, I’m back in nature.Breathing forest terpenes.Resonating with bird songs.Refilling energy stores. If given the choice, for my last time on earth, I will always choose even one quiet minute in nature over any number of days, weeks, months or years confined in concrete. …If possible, I’d spend that moment in silence with a close friend. In an episode of “Living the Questions”, Krista Tippett discusses connection (kindred) and disconnection (sequestration). “We draw raw energy from each other, at a primal, animal level, when we are in the room together.” We need to

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Toolbox

There’s no doubt about it, lockdown quarantine is getting to me. I’m a loner. I’m single. I live alone. I’ve been a nomad for a decade. At first, I begrudgingly accepted that my life developed this way. Over the last several years, however, I’ve embraced this lifestyle because it provides tremendous opportunities to travel, experience different cultures, and see things that most people only dream about or only see via visual media. This way of life also allows for immersing myself in quietness, something I find immensely soothing. I thrive when living in a cabin in the woods where nature

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Decade & A Year

I don’t usually reflect on my training and racing through total duration and distance. Instead, I pay more attention to the patterns within the days, weeks, and months. But when I was asked, it seemed interesting to have a look. It’s been a tumultuous year that included a chronic health issue with roots reaching back to my infancy: it’s played an increasing role throughout my life, culminating to a peak this spring. Since then a lot has been learned and major strides have been made towards what is now the best health of my life. This decade has been a

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Super-Compensation

❝Gluttony does not produce hunger.❞~Matt Dixon In his groundbreaking book The Science of Winning, Jan Olbrecht PhD defines and illuminates the principle of super-compensation. It is the part of the adaptation phenomenon where physical performance increases above the initial level, which is the goal at the end of a training block and before starting the next cycle. It occurs because the body’s rebuilding efforts continue for a short time after returning to baseline to better equip itself for future stress. But if we get greedy and overextend ourselves then recovery time must be extended thereby diminishing opportunities for super-compensation. Dr

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Keystones to Health

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