As I wrote in my last post, I’m unpacking layers physically (inside), emotionally, and mentally. It’s about the search for myself–my true self. Paradoxically, as the layers are stripped away and there’s more balance, peace and harmony within, I note that there’s less of me to find. In retrospect, this makes perfect sense by reason that stratifications are removed, honoured for the part they’ve played, and set free. In other words, as I find myself I also discover that there’s less self that’s existent.
But, in what could sound confusing if it’s not experienced for oneself, as this transformation occurs what’s realised is that the True and expansive Self is revealed. It’s a bit like walking through a door into a larger space. And in this space is the sensation, or knowing, that I am the space, and the space is me. So, by losing what I thought myself to be, I become–or re-discover–something much larger.
We’ve all heard that the process of peeling away the layers can be difficult. However, for me it’s not the delamitation that’s burdensome but rather the holding onto layers; or, more specifically, the frustration of not being able to dismantle the layers despite intentions to do so.
I’m completely ok with layers falling away, or even chunks calving. (Oj, I’d best be careful what I wish for, eh?) That’s not to say that an internal struggle is immediately resolved when this happens, but it can be a relieving, even refreshing, experience.
Yet, I can’t help but hear the invitation of my teacher Adyashanti, “Are there really any layers? Or, perhaps, is all that an illusion, a curtain, hiding the real Truth.”