I’ve been thinking a lot about paradox. Heck, I’ve been inquiring into several things lately: clarity, routine vs flow, aligning my actions with my values.
But something struck me out of the blue a few mornings ago. Something I’ve not seen before. At first, when I awoke and sat up, I only recognised that something was different, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. So, I got up, made tea, lit a candle, and sat down on my cushion for meditation. All completely ordinary, but something was different—not amiss, just curiously different. I just kinda shrugged, closed my eyes, and rested into experiencing whatever was there to experience.
I don’t do any particular meditation. It’s primarily Anapana and Vipassana, but with less structure than what was taught by S.N. Goenka. For me, simple observation of natural, normal respiration and sensations in the body resonates best, specifically because it is so simple.
Be present. Be here.
Feel your feet on the ground, your belly rising and falling.
Be open and receptive to the life all around you.
Just rest. Just be aware of what is.
Listen with the entire body.
Thoughts come. Thoughts go. That’s what thoughts do.
Aware of breath. Not aware of breath.
There is focus. There is illusory story.
There is returning to breath and sensations.
Anyway, about what was different…
There was a sense of tranquillity. It wasn’t in the mind because that was still rather active. Then, it revealed itself. The difference was in the body: It was quiet and still. The sensations were subtle, not busy. The vibrations were soft.
We’ve all heard about quieting the mind. Our monkey mind jumps from one thing to the next, missing what’s in the actual moment. But I’d never heard or read about a quiet body before. Yet, there it was. To be certain, the experience was rather pleasant.
After meditation I continued with my normal routines, checking in now and again with that quietness. Of course, the next morning when I sat down to meditate the pattern of grasping was there, hoping to regain the quiet body. “Ah shucks”, I thought. So, I just kinda shrugged, closed my eyes, and rested into experiencing whatever was there to experience.