Yup, that’s me: solo camping (2009), and on a bike (1972). A few years later I painted that Spidy-bike red & blue with black spiderwebs. I was 6 years old. And I felt lost already then.
Like everybody else’s life, there have been a series of ups and downs. Do I feel less lost… 45 years later? Yes and no. What I do have now is some experience, both incredible highs and some pretty shitty lows.
One consistent theme throughout my life has been an underlying warrior energy. I’ve identified with (or wished to have) tiger strength, samurai zen, Spiderman senses, and monk-like wisdom. Do I have a superhero complex that’s caused me to be egotistical and self-absorbed through much of my life? No doubt. But the underlying conviction of an inner strength, combined with a desire to inquire and seek within is actually what’s kept me alive, and allowed me to grow & transform.
What is this unquenchable curiosity? The answer, my friends, is a long one, and one that would take us down a very deep rabbit hole with many discussions and explorations. I can offer, however, a couple of quotes that point to the vigilance (stubbornness?) of which I’m speaking, and the seeking.
“When you’re in a moment of venting–kicking dirt–be gentle with yourself and understand that you don’t have to be perfect in your warrior path. You can be human and you can nurture yourself, and take care of yourself in healthy ways. You can cry. You can scream. You can shake your fist at #God. You can kick dirt… a little. And then you gotta sign up again. And if you’re in then you’ve gotta sign up again, and begin again. Being a warrior is a series of decisions over, and over, and over again to recommit and to begin again.” ~SriMati
“There’s a freedom in embracing #impermanence because it’s not a fanciful, spiritual notion that you’re trying to superimpose on #reality: It is reality. The further we get away from reality the more we hurt because we’re banging our head against the wall.” ~Sharon Salzberg
(Both quotes are from Rich Roll podcasts #163 & #298.)