In a recent article entitled “Maybe We All Need a Little Less Balance”, Brad Stulberg explores the idea of balance. He writes that it’s not balance that allows us to flourish in our life and pursuits, but instead internal self-awareness: “the ability to see yourself clearly by assessing, monitoring and proactively managing your core values, emotions, passions, behaviors and impact on others.”
This immediately resonated with me. I don’t think anyone who has met me would use balanced as a descriptor. Those close to me are apt to say driven, or focused. Reflecting upon my past accomplishments the sense of balance is anything but present. Even still, a close friend recently shared that she was amazed how graceful I can be in the face of pain.
I’m not sure that I’m particularly balletic, but even as a child I felt something at my core that was centred, still, and peaceful. Unfortunately, aside from that nucleus, I was full of struggle, unrest and turmoil. Through example, my grandfather instilled in me the characteristics of vigilance, integrity and responsibility, to which I added my own flamboyant and wild desire for adventure.
Over these last few days I realised that what holds me steadfast in my seeking and growth are the roots of diligence, patience, and persistence. My successes, tenacity, and sense of harmony come not from trying to maintain a static balance, but instead by bending in the ebb and flow of life’s wind; welcoming both the yin and the yang, feminine and masculine, ups and downs, joy and sadness.
Reconnecting with this, I feel the “default state of happiness” (Chade-Meng Tan); in tune with life’s energy as I move forward with vigour and rhythm, pursing my interests with renewed internal self-awareness. In the words of S.N. Goenka, I “start again”, rededicated to live fully–deeply experiencing the way life expresses itself through, and with, me.